I know when we have someone new come to our meeting we read a newcomers welcome. Here is part of that welcome.
As a newcomer you may feel that you are here tonight for the alcoholic…
that your presence here may teach you how to stop his or her drinking.
The truth is you are here because of the alcoholic and not for the alcoholic.
You will soon learn you did not cause the alcoholic to drink,
you cannot control the drinking, nor can you cure the alcoholic.
You are here for yourself. You and you alone are responsible for
dealing with your own pain. This is your program, it is your recovery
from the effects of the disease of alcoholism.
It took me way more than 2 meetings to fully understand the effects alcoholism had on my life with inherited codependency issues, not so healthy ideas of what love and caring and respect really were all about. Putting myself first just didn’t feel right, ending a relationship with an alcoholic/addict felt like I was abandoning them and I had a lot of guilt and fear and a ill sense of obligation. The program helped me to see ME, find ME and help ME discover a new healthier way of approaching life.
Did you ever lose 10 pounds after dieting for 2 days, nope, me neither. It takes time and real dedication to oneself to make changes in our lives, any kind of changes.