(((Equus))),
It's good to hear you put your needs/wants first and foremost. My thoughts are with you, as always. It's quite a task to make my words, heart and actions one thing, and keep them there. It's kind of like trying to get my Golden to sit still while I clip his nails!! Just when I get one leg under control the other three spit out from my grasp!
It's in those moments of clarity, when words, heart and actions finally come together, when we truly make progress. We shouldn't get upset though when one slips out from our grasp, we're still making progess as long as we keep our focus where it belongs (on ourselves!!).
Big hugs,
Shannon