I do not think you are wrong in being upset and commend you for the love you are showing.
This is not exactly encouraging feedback but it's honest and based on a 30+ year career of drinking and spiraling down into a very deep hole. It wasn't until I admitted I had a problem that I changed or at least started to and even after I did I had many relapses but every recovery I grew stronger and my tool box grew bigger, my plan amended to address where I went wrong and today I am a very happy and loving sober man because I wanted to be all I could be and with booze that was not going to happen.
I don't have an answer to your situation as the alcoholic in my experience has to want sobriety before change can start.
Andrew