I feel like we have a lot in common. I feel like an idiot for not seeing or maybe just denying my husbands drug addiction. We have been together for 5 years and married for 2. When I met him he seemed to be honest about his past addiction of Percocet and cocaine. He told me he detoxed on his own (should have been my first red flag). There has been so many instances looking back where he just didn't seem right. Id confront him, he'd get mad and yell and turn it back on me like I was crazy. Now we are living separate. We just had a baby and have a 3 year old. I know he's been abusing Suboxone for years because i found a bunch of wrappers about 2 years ago that he denied were his. But then I found a wrapper in the toilet about 6 months ago and he had to confess at that point. He claims it's just for pain and is now seeing a psychiatrist to get off of it but it's been over 6 months and he's still doing it. The straw that broke the camels back was a few weeks ago he didn't come home and I called the police and they found him at a nearby hotel wasted. He told me he went to a bar and drank and took Adderall. I sat at home with our 3 year old and newborn thinking he was dead somewhere. I don't believe him anymore and feel all this time that I've known him he was probably using, spending all of our money (he controls the finances) and lying to be. I should have trusted my gut earlier. He's begging me to come home but I'm staying strong and told him detox and treatment or that's it for us. I even found him a great rehab and my insurance pays 100%. I recently asked him if he would be willing to take a hair follicle test and he's dancing around the question and manipulating the situation like he always does. There's no more excuses but of course he's coming up with them all. I just want my children to be safe. I'm scared for them to be with him so for now I'm keeping them with me and he can have supervised visits. I know I have a very long road ahead of me but I feel a sense of relief in a way because I finally feel like I can live a life that is honest and I don't have to keep looking over my shoulder. Stay strong!