Why not give AA a go. Meet others in your situation, and listen to them share their recovery strength and hoppe. Maybe consider some structured recovery work while reaping the benefit of fellowship and some routine in the form of meetings. Also, why not have another pop at the healthy eating. Even if just for two of your three meals each day. If we eat loads of junk we're not going ourselves a fighting chance. I know that if I eat too much sugar it affects my mood which in turn makes me less likely to behave well or kindly towards others. And behaving in a way I want to own is important to me in my recovery. Anything that stops us getting restless, irritable and discontent is good for our recovery.