Thanks all. I'm at 60 hours sober.
I have NO intention of drinking - and not a craving to do so.
Tomorrow I'll be at the 72 hour mark and hopefully past the danger zone.
I don't put the responsibility of my sobriety on anyone by myself - don't worry.
The problem is that the system here is incredibly frustrating to navigate and without money the help you can get is negligible.
Every social worker I talk to seems lost. Every doctor I talk to tells me something different or wants to prescribe me a different drug. I feel very confused, dismissed and in awe at the conflicting information I'm receiving from each doctor. All telling me that the previous doctors were wrong/had no idea what they were talking about. I don't know who to believe at this point.
I am going to go to AA and see what advice I can find there - plus I have an appointment with a psychiatrist in addition to my regular therapist.
I need to really figure out why I relapsed in the past and why I didn't protect myself from exactly what I knew was hurting me.
Thank you all for posting - it's incredibly helpful to have people to talk to who have experience in this.