Originally Posted by desertsong

I get what you are saying but I doubt it's very constructive to post this in a forum for newcomers to recovery who are already beating themselves up for being where they are. I don't disagree that our drinking/drugging is selfish but that is also the nature of addiction. And no one will ever convince me that addiction does not have deep roots in life events other than selfishness. The way we cope with these life events may or may not be "selfish," but that is only part of the equation. I was emotionally abused by my father from an early age. I also experienced two instances of sexual abuse. I managed to put those events behind me only to end up as a mother of a severely autistic child and a cheating husband. I am now divorced and raising my child alone and for a very long time, I drank to escape the stress of my life. If that's selfish, so be it. I agree. But to blame it on "sin" and "selfishness" is oversimplifying. There comes a point where drinking to escape or numb or feel "buzzed" crosses the line into physical dependence. That's where the "choice" is lost. Gone. It takes a great deal of steely determination to overcome something your body and your brain are literally screaming for every minute of the day. I think many of us have been there. I literally drank to survive. It was a dark, terrible place that I would never have chosen for myself and desperately wanted out of. It wasn't me saying, "Hey, I want this drink and I'm going to do it for ME." It was, "I am sick and dependent and desperate and I don't know what else to do." I don't regard that as selfishness. Like I said, I get what you are saying but I think you are oversimplifying. Every person is different and there are many ways of studying addiction. I agree that on some level, our addictions are selfish but I also believe that there are other dynamics at work. Each of us has to look at our unique situations and decide what methods of recovery (and what mindsets) work for us, what don't, and then take what works for us and leave the rest.