Addiction IS nuts. Something you said stood out to me-the whole circling if enablers thinking they are being compassionate while others are viewed as letting this man rot away with no concern. Yep-been there done that with my exs family.
You are a phenomenal person FS and are doing the right thing..,..maybe someday the others will wake up.
Sorry you are dealing with this but it sounds like you're handling it like a champ!