ndlc......If your cul ture sees heavy drinking as the norm.....then I can GURANTEE that there is a lot of alcoholism in their families that they keep "hidden" from view.
secrecy is pretty much the norm in alcoholic families......The secrecy is o ne of the factors that allows the alcoholism to flourish ........who knew?
Actually, alth o ugh alanon is a good organization, I feel that "Adult Children of Alcoholics" is probably more specific to your needs, right now.
We have a forum for Adult Children, here on SR.....Maybe, check it out....
Also, remember t hat it is not a "contest" about who has it worse, or not, with their alcoholic....
If it is a problem to you....IT IS A PROB LEM. Each person's problem is important to themselves!
In alanon or Adult Children of Alcoholics....nobody is going to push religion onto you.....(it is not the same as church)......
Each person is respected. There are aethesists in all of the organizations that we have discussed, here, and, they seem to do just fine.....lol.....
Regarding the immediate arguments and conflicts with your father....you might want to use the tool of detachment......th at can "cool" down the household tension (for you) to some extent.....it won't solve the whole problem....but, it can buy you some mental space right now.....
**if you are interested in the detach ment tool....let us know and we can helo you......(there is a lot of experience on this forum).....
dandylion