It sounds like your family are all in big denial about alcoholism. Usually those who are functioning alcoholics are in the biggest denial about drinking because they aren't that "homeless, drunk, dirty, scruffy man who talks to himself" you have painted the picture of what an alcoholic looks like. My husband is a functioning alcoholic, he goes to work everyday, he's good looking, athletic built, but once he is off work the beers come out. It took him a while before he knew he had a problem. He will be going into rehab in 2 days. But there are many functioning alcoholics who will probably be in denial forever (my ex bf was one of them).