Hi JT I relapsed a few times over the years. Looking back I was saying the same things about pills ...like 'they give me so much energy' but it wasn't until I realised I was addicted to them and how they were screwing up my life like staying awake til the early hours of the morning still buzzing and feel strung out, slightly psycho and making bad choices from lack of sleep the next day. Also not feeling true emotions just edited toned down version of them. I'm close to three weeks clean and its early days and some days are crap but I want to truly feel what life throws at me so I can prove Im stronger than my addicted brain and one day get my life back on track. I hope you get your life back too.