I understand why you feel this way. Its easier to ignore/accept/dismiss the abuse when lifestyle changes are so drastic.
My advice of course would be to never go back to this scenario. In order to do that you are going to need to get a job, which I am sure you know.
No person should ever be in a circumstance where they have to make choices based of the dependence of another person. If you could financially afford it my guess is you would have been gone long ago.