Originally Posted by
2muchpain 
I don't mean this in an offensive way Mike, but after reading your last post, the thought crossed my mind about maybe you getting a high of of the medication. You said yourself that the influence of seroquel is stronger than a binge. It makes you numb, fogs your brain, etc. And then you drank on top of it, knowing that would enhance the effects. Maybe I thought of this cause I've done the same thing. Seroquel by itself might not be addictive, but it sounds like it would definitely add a big kick to the alcohol. Have you thought about the possibility that after taking the seroquel, knowing it's effects, decided to pick up the beer to really put on a major buzz? Sounds to me like you made a decision to get high. Just a thought. John
Thanks John. Today I had 70 days sober. The seroquel took my defenses away. And that lead me to drink.
There is no being under the influence of seroquel that is pleasurable though. There's no high. It's not addictive and it simply shuts you down, so that only normal thoughts and feelings are there. Problem is, it shuts down much more than it should. It's like a switch off on your emotions.
The opposite of high I would say. So you seek feelings. That's what I see now. So I borrowed money from the neighbors, got drunk, etc.
Seroquel is the anti-high pill. It is the most boring thing you can take. Problem is, it takes away a large part of your judgement as well.
So there you are. A zombie. A shadow of yourself. None of your creative thoughts you can access. It limits almost everything.
Including my plan. All the things that kept me sober. All my successes.
Then there was my delusional dip, I got it prescribed, did well for a short while. Then I still didn't do well so I got more and I was gone. And I got beer. I don't even remember how it got here.
So yeah, to all you who have mentioned it, the seroquel is to blame. You know how you are different on chemicals, we're all alcoholics. Seroquel is on too. So don't tell me that I blame it on it, because I don't. Or I will tell you that your inability to walk in a straight line back when you were drinking, you simply blamed on the alcohol.
They're both substances. I've drank a lot. Seroquel hits me much, much harder. You have no idea.
So no, it's not an excuse. I'm simply being clear (I hope) and honest (I know).
And yes I know the combination is dangerous but the seroquel makes me not care and it is much heavier than alcohol. Some of you remember trying to get an alcoholic to do something. Make that much harder. It's a heavier chemical.
That doesn't mean I wouldn't try myself though. But unless you've had it, you understand.