MikeM

I know but I don't care anymore. These meds took that away from me. They numb all feelings. No more fire is in me. No more motivation. I'm numb. A zombie.

And it leads me to drink. Because nothing matters anymore. I don't know. I can't even think straight.

I need to get off these pills. At least I won't drink when I'm myself. I should call my doctor again but I just don't care anymore. I don't know. My brain is foggy, my feelings are numb, thank you seroquel. And I can't care about drinking anymore.

I'd rather be off these meds and be wacky at times. Or have better meds. But these caused me to relapse.

For fudge's sake, I was a numb zombie borrowing money from my neighbors. My brother has my wallet. So I did something I usually wouldn't. They were nice too. But it's not the person I want to be.

And that's the thing. These pills take away the person I am and want to be. I don't care anymore. At all. Should someone put a gun to my head right now and I know they were gonna shoot, I'd be numb. Neutral. Don't care.

This is not at all like my first experience with seroquel. This needs to stop. But I have no motivation to do anything right now.