Originally Posted by Florence

People can say whatever they want. What does he do when you aren't looking?

With my XAH, a big red flag that I learned to respect was the mantle of CONFUSION. Whenever I talked to him, I felt overwhelmed and confused. After awhile, I realized that I felt overwhelmed and confused because he designed the conversation that way. The confusion was injected into the relationship because it gave him more room to misbehave and for me to forgive his misbehavior due to the inability to pin him down.

His history is a real indicator of what to expect from him. And based on recent and past history, it's a pretty good sign that you can expect cheating, lying, and drinking. You can't hang your hat on hope.