Thanks everyone, I really appreciate the support. This site is what's getting me through right now. Given I can sorta see his point about me not validating his thoughts and feelings of late I have been trying harder to do so. But it has made no difference in how he treats me. Why am I not surprised? Yeah, how does one "validate" abuse? You can't. But in a way that's what I have been doing for years as I stayed and let him keep doing it.