We all show up as sad stories. Actually, most of us worse than that. When the NA basic text says things like "When we were using reality became so painful that oblivion was preferable. We tried to keep other people from knowing about our pain. We isolated ourselves, and lived in prisons that we built with loneliness.", the addicts that penned that weren't just writing those lines for filler.
You have to figure out if you've had enough. Trust me, it gets a lot worse.
I woke up every day mad that I was still alive and that I had to go through another day. These days waking up is a lot different. It was a rough morning in my world because I had to debate if I should call out sick or not (I did) as I am on the tail end of a pretty bad cold. I feel a little guilty, but I have the sick time and I'm a responsible person today. Rough as that was, I didn't feel like killing myself, nor was I hung over or dopesick. I didn't even feel desperately hopeless, just a little guilty. I think I'll be ok.
You can be ok too. I bet there is an NA meeting in your area today. Maybe even this morning. I didn't want to go either. I'm glad I did.