I have made it one week!
Things are looking up. I am very happy with this decision to cease drinking completely and will do everything in my power to continue in this direction. Antabuse has been my saving grace and I'm very thankful I decided to go on it. I realize I'm not as tired as I was when drinking all the time, obviously, and my thoughts are clearer. I can process and control my thoughts, actions, and feelings much better than I ever would have been in my seemingly endless drunk loops.
I took this semester of school off because of life happenings, alcohol being one of them, and was inpatient for a week. So, I've been kind of punishing myself for that as well but I feel so bored without the distractions of schoolwork. I love learning. Anyways, I was looking into taking a summer class and I'm feeling very motivated with that in my mind. I also already signed up for fall classes so I'm excited for that already!
Another amazing thing is that, because of some of the quotes I post on Facebook and mentioning something about being strong for a week, someone I know messaged me saying she is on day 7 and went to her first meeting on Friday and asked if I wanted to join. Now we are going to plan to go to one. I explained to her my struggles about going to them and she said she would be my company. The fact that someone was reaching out to help me..without my effort to ask..meant a lot. My support has been lacking as I've just been struggling silently for so long. Just flowing along without a care, absorbing the pain until exploding, and going into a horrific cycle of horror.. It almost makes me want to cry that she reached out..
Anyways, I'm going to keep on keeping on! I am eager to be the best me that I can be and so I will!
-Charlie ^.^