Yes, I did a number of things in blackout that were downright horrid. However, life can be difficult enough without wishing to remember all of those things. I just cant be bothered to think about them, or worry about the things that I still can't remember. I don't want to go through the misery of it anymore. They're all in the past. I can't change them. Accept the things I cannot change.
In fact, I needed to do every single one of those horrid things to take me to a place of complete exhaustion and misery. In a way they helped me stop drinking!