My brother just invited me to go out to see a movie, I could tell he was sober. I have been isolating all day and the thought of going out seems daunting it also seems necessary.
I've had half a glass of wine and do not feel drunk nor should I be at that amount. But, I will have to drive there and have a strict rule of not drinking then driving.
If I stay I will surely drink more yet part of me is telling me to dump the rest. I think I can. Whether I go or not. I hope you guys aren't mad at me over the wine as I dont want you to think I am wasting your time. But, I know nothing will change if I don't do anything right now. I needed to reach out.
Sitting in my room watching my cat sleep is not making any changes. Its just this damn depression.. Im so sick of feeling this way. I wish I had my husband to talk to but he is completely unavailable.
I am fighting for my life, or maybe I should be fighting harder. I don't know if seeing my brother tonight is a good idea but sitting here with a glass of wine and potential more glasses is obviously not a good idea either.
I am sorry and glad you kind folks are listening. Thank you.