Welcome, and thanks for posting!
Isn't it funny how alcohol can make you rationalize the craziest things?! Things you know are horrible ideas suddenly seem perfectly normal and logical once you've taken that drink. It's dangerous, and it's only a matter of time until our luck runs out.
I too am perfectly pleasant (for the most part!) when I'm sober. I'm a HOOT when I'm drunk... unless you're my husband! Then I'm the meanest, most cruel person on the face of the earth. And even if I'm not mean to you when I'm drunk, my fun is extremely limited because I'm going to drink until I black out, pass out, or throw up and how fun is THAT?
And yet I still want to do it.
I know how you feel. Welcome. Try to be kind to yourself. Post here if you need support.
Originally Posted by
huffington82 
Wow, thank you for your wonderful reply. Yes the walks home are full of danger, but you don't think of that prospect when you are detached from reality through drink. It's really the most awful thing. I could get run over or attacked quite easily and have no recollection of what happened. Or worse.
I agree it is never just one. Or two. The sober me is nice, friendly, successful and I hope a pleasure to be around. The other me can be a complete idiot and fool.
But that feeling that being in a pub or bar gives and the beer. But what good comes of it? Yet I still do it. It's impossible :/
I guess I'm still going through the stage where I think willpower is enough. To go to the doc to me seems pointless as they don't seem to know very much. Doctors almost did permanent harm to my mum by making mistakes so my trust of them is very low.
I am truly appreciative of your reply though, thank you
