If you have been to Al-Anon you may have heard this before but it might be a good time to remember the 3 C's
You didn't cause it
You can't cure it
You can't control it
What you can do is Contribute to the healthiness in your life & in your home ~
so what you may need to evaluate what is the Next Right Thing for You, while allowing your wife to do the same for herself.
wishing you both the very best