I have the same dilemma.... thankfully I hate it more than I love it.
Now when I think about having a drink I think about all the times it kicked my ass...made me deathly sick, broke, unemployed, act like a jerk, rendered me incapable of defending myself against predictors, ostracized by friends and loved ones and STILL I loved it! Until I stopped loving myself completely....then a choice had to be made....me or the booze....one of us had to go for good....that's when I realized I couldn't carry on that love/hate relationship anymore....the dilemma had to be solved!
I picked Me by the way! I wish the same for you!