i've been where it sounds you're at, zero, and got and stayed sober in a mostly online community of LifeRing Secular Recovery, though there was a face-to-face meeting in my town, too.
and of course i wasn't insane, i'd managed my life okay and i wasn't defected.
after a few years of this and with more, hm, willingness to look at what my own experience of multiple returns to drinking had actually been, and of how my relationships actually were/had been, and of how i hid little or big stuff here, there or other places, and of how i was stuck in skewed perceptions anf thinking and reactionary crap and how my "managing" had been more a matter of trying tightly to hold it all together, with juggling here and shortcuts there and fear everywhere....after some time, with great relief, i came to see that stopping drinking was only the first part for me and that a way forward that was based on 'spiritual principles' was exactly what i needed and wanted.
and of course my oodles of returns to drinking were insanity. if they were "freely chosen", it was an insane (non-sane as in non-healthy) choice, and if i had lost freedom of choice in the matter at times, then that was powerlessness.
re your sponsor question: no way of knowing what you'll be told.
my own sponsor-person would not tell you things such as the ones you mention. they asked me open-ended questions which helped me look at my own experiences, my beliefs around those experiences, my challenges with being openminded about what "the book" says, and i ended up having only the predictable difficulties with the steps, nothing extra special.
you might be told that alcoholism is to great degree about screwed thinking and perceptions, based in self-centredness. you might be told all kinds of stuff...i found that when i stopped battling and started with non-defensiveness, a lot more things were possible.