I struggle with it because I want community and online is the only community I have unless I go to AA or NA meetings which bum me out because I hear so much talk about being damaged goods and "if not for the love of God..." I am geographically isolated in a small town, and there are no flesh and blood alternatives within at least 100 miles. There are not many sober people with whom I can relate around here. Most who are sober are at church or AA.
And yes, I judge, but some may judge me for judging, but it is what it is. I know AA helps people, but I also have seen evidence that the Steps can lead to people getting stuck. It just rubs me the wrong way. I can intellectualize it, but it's more a feeling than anything else.
It's the teaching people they are insane or defected that bothers me most - more than teaching that only a Higher Power can help. I question the existence of character "defects." Addiction grows out of learned behavior, and people can learn new behaviors. Character "defects" seem more accurately to be problems with inaccurate perception and thinking (cognitive distortions). It seems preferable to teach people their thinking is problematic and can be changed rather than telling them they are insane or defected. If people years into recovery still believe they have character defects, it's because they have been taught they have character defects. It sounds like splitting hairs, but telling people they are insane and defected seems awfully judgemental, and I don't think that's particularly helpful. And it's overly simplistic.
I've thought about attending a book study to try to figure out why the model is so widely accepted (other than that it works for some), but I would have to try to keep and open mind. And my mouth shut.