Lexie, unfortunately I don't think he would turn her over to anyone else without a massive fight, that's my issue. And that they now want to go even further away, so I would be a good 3.5 hours away. My other child who drives and would respond will be 2.5 hours away with other plans.
I have decided to pass. My children's anxiety issues about him are much much better, huge progress has been made in counseling. However, since my oldest does not go with my youngest anymore to her dad's, it has made her a lot more insecure to be the only one at his house. So it's going to have to be a work in progress.
I explained why I am not going, and they completely get it. I think my own insecurity about being away would have prevented me from feeling at ease anyways. I am going out locally with friends tonight for the first time in a long time, so I will still have a fun time.
For some extra money I am going to start cleaning our offices at work. It will only take a couple of hours, but definitely I will do that so I don't have to do it on Sunday, my church and R&R day.
I want to thank you all for your input. It's such a blessing to have a sounding board to get the opinions of people who truly understand what this is all about. Even when people know your story, unless they have walked the walk, they can never truly get it.