Bunny, I once went 13 years sober and then one single glass of wine led to 3 years of misery. I don't ever want to go through that again!
Whether one calls it a disease or not, you might find the following video helpful in understanding how addiction works: "Pleasure Unwoven". It is available for about $30 from a well-known on-line vendor. At my IOP they showed us this video and it helped me a great deal.
I also haven't heard of not being able to share in AA after working steps and I attended a number of different meetings.