Please don't undo all your hard work. This is what moderation looks like for me:
1. Tell myself I'll just have one. One can't hurt right? I've had just the one before and been just fine.
2. First one drunk. Tell myself I'll just have another. Two can't hurt right? I've had just two before and been just fine.
3. Meh, those two didn't have much of an affect. I'll have a third and maybe stop then.
4. Wake up the following morning. Hideous, skin crawling anxiety and regret. Did I gamble? How much did i lose? How did I get home/ get to bed? Did I drink drive? Did i really have 10 plus drinks? How did I smoke so many cigarettes?
5. Cancel work/ don't attend appointments or errands. Spend day lying around in a pool of self loathing. Count the hours until I can finally go to bed and put this wretched day behind me.
Moderation does not work. Ever.