I drank after five months sober last year. Within a few days, I was back to drinking two to six glasses of wine BEFORE going into work every day and then God knows how much after work. I'd say at least one out of every five shifts I was calling in with some fake excuse because I was either hungover or I just wanted to sit around the house and drink. It was a lonely, miserable existence. At least once a week, I'd tell myself "I'm going to stop drinking again" only to cave in shortly thereafter, usually on the same day.
It took every ounce of courage I had to come back in here and ask for help on March 13 of this year. You were one of the people who welcomed me here then.
Here's a very very long post I wrote last year about my history of relapses here on SR:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ays-sober.html
Of course I went back out drinking 75 days after writing that post.
This is a better way of life. Those feelings will pass. You did good admitting to them here. Call your sponsor, keep posting in here, help someone else today if you can, sit on your hands, take a shower, eat a gallon of ice cream, run a marathon, just do whatever it takes to not take that first drink today. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
EDIT: Just read that you're doing your 5th Step this weekend. Hang in there that long. I can almost 100% guarantee you'll feel much better afterwards.