Originally Posted by Beccybean

Just a quick hello and welcome.

I completely agree about getting too some meetings. Coda or Alanon. If you think of them as a therapy appointment I'm sure something can be worked out with the work schedule.

I found the CoDa handbook really helpful (I bought mine online). The only person any of us can fix is ourselves. I don't even necessarily think it's a case of conceit thinking that we can fix people, more about wanting someone who needs us to fix them, because it feels like that will make them less likely to find other friends or leave us. Like you, I was a very needy child, and the smallest of slights would leave me either heartbroken or full of rage (or both). Thing is, we then end up with selfish or emotionally unavailable partners who are quite happy too agree with us that their own 'needs' (read wants) are more important than ours. And then, (this is the hilarious part), we even start to feel guilty about taking time to work on ourselves, which is exactly where our fixing should be focused.

Wishing you all the best for your recovery, and strength needed to disconnect from those who add nothing good to your life.