Originally Posted by
Rayn3dr0p 
bluelily, your comment reminds me of something I said to my friend just yesterday. We were having a pretty typical "boys are dumb" kind of conversation to blow off some steam, and I told her that part of the reason I'm not ready to call it quits with my ABF is because everyone has issues and at least I know what his issues are. It took me 8 years to learn all about his issues, and I'm too tired to learn someone else's all over again. In other words, I'd rather settle for familiarity. What does this say of my opinion of relationships? Do I seem like someone who expects to receive as well as give? (These are rhetorical questions. I know how jaded all of this sounds.)
Better the Devil you know than the Devil you don't. That thinking will keep you standing still whether applied to a relationship, a job, or anything.
True, all people have issues. In a healthy relationship there might be a couple of big issues, like one or two, then a myriad of little issues - like one is a beach person and one is a mountain person. These things should appear within a year, or two at the latest. The little annoying issues should far outweigh the biggies.
What does "familiar" mean to you? Does it mean the issues are there,
and you have resolved them? Or does is mean the issue is there, its not changing, and you have accepted it?
Staying with something because its familiar is al lousy reason to be in whatever it is. I tend to think Return On Investment is part of the reason when you are talking about "years" in a relationship. People don't like change even when they don't like what they are doing.
. It took me 8 years to learn all about his issues I'm too tired to learn someone else's all over again. But not to tired to deal with an alcoholic's BS? Its all a matter of perspective. If the choice were to be alone and free of someone else's BS or stay with someone who had a lot of problems to me, I would rather be alone, and get a dog or cat. Of course that's dramatic (though some people choose to never engage romantically again) its hard to imagine healthy when you are in chaos.