Hi Ceruleanblue: Welcome. This particular section is more for the actual alcoholic (or substance abuser) so we probably can only give you advice from the alcoholic's perspective. You may want to post in the Friends and Family section as I am sure there are plenty there who have or are experiencing what you are currently going through. Here is the link:
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information