I was told the perfect woman would be a mute (no nagging), and that I scored highly in his list of candidates because Iīm not very talkative. All of this as a joke, supposedly, but I soon found out he was only interested in talking about himself, not ever asking much about me. He even changed the subject whenever I was telling him something that was bothering me about my life, he didnīt care at all!
And yes, misogynist, racist, homophobic - he was all of that. Took me a time to accept it was true, because it is so different from the values I was brought up with! But when the "jokes" repeat themselves you can assume they arenīt jokes at all.
Refiner: very true about the mother thing, XABf had no respect at all for his own mom. In the beginning I would get caught up in this, trying to see how she mistreated him, but then it dawned on me that there was nothing wrong with her, she did love him as best she could only he wouldnīt let her - I suspect some concern about his drinking on her part.