Had a slip today. Not feeling too well. I keep making these mistakes. Drinking - then abstinence for 7 to 14 days -then I forget why I don't want to drink in the first place. I honestly don't know what happened tonight, but I have a few explanations (not excuses):
1. Had a dream about drinking and throwing a party. Get them all the time. What to do when I get those dreams?
2. Watched a movie - and the reinforcement there was massive. Ice cold vodka bottles, drunk episodes that only made you laugh. Honestly, I know all this is scam. But I certainly wanted vodka after watching the movie.
3. Also wanted red wine after watching a TV show about vineyards in Italy.
Alcohol is truly everywhere. Need to work on my subconscious mind to get rid of all this. And by the way -yes, I also made excuses for drinking tonight. And they were as usual lame....Main excuse: I write better when I drink; needed to write a piece of paper and organize stuff. Always done that whilst drinking. How to break the associations?
Tonight I just WANTED IT.
I have no idea how to stop that urge.
