Hi Del! I echo what 360 said...about focusing on your kids (not your father or brother).
I think of my own relationship with my daughter and I cry when I know she has said out loud to her dad "I just wish mom wouldn't drink". If I fall asleep while watching TV with her, she was double checking to see if I was "passed out" and really worried that something might be wrong (like the night they called 911 when I didn't respond to them).
As "good" as I tried to be during those times and could sometime pull off "controlling" how much I drank, I wasn't "myself" and in control. I was never mean or bad, but I wasn't always "me".
I think kids need to feel safe. They want to feel that we are steady and reliable. This will come in time with all of your kids I believe. I know I've already felt a difference with my daughter.
It will take them time to see you being authentic and consistent and trust that it is going to last...but they want to love you. They will come around with time!
It's so great that you are posting all of this and moving through these emotions. I was reading a post about how drinking just keeps us stuck in a circle going around and around never really making it past (or through) the emotions.
Keep it up!