Jtmlk, i completely agree with Anna. You've got to set boundaries that give you the best chance to be successful. Sobriety comes first and everything else will fall into place. My wife didn't understand early on when I quit drinking. I just finally realized that no matter how much she wanted me to drink with her, I couldn't, not now, not ever.
To accomplish that, I had to set boundaries for myself. No boundaries for anyone else, just me. This is my problem and I need to deal with it myself. If their actions didn't fit within my boundaries, I would leave the situation it needed.
You've got to do what ever it takes to give yourself the best chance to not drink today.