Leezer

Hey, thanks for asking. Sometimes I'm unintentionally vague.
I am/was a heavy binge drinker, so it took me longer than I think is usual to feel a difference, but here are some things that I have noticed:
1) I have infinitely more patience. I don't get perturbed by little things like I did....my fuse is longer.
2) I feel more calm inside and not jumpy and anxious.
3) I am not having racing, negative thoughts and am not ruminating on things like I tend to do when I am drinking.
4) Related to 3, I am not taking things other people say so personally or reading meanings into things that just aren't there.
5) I look better. I've lost about 5 pounds in the last 30 days and my skin is clearer, my eyes brighter, and my hair is shinier. I just look younger--not a ton, but it is noticeable.. People have given me little compliments here and there like "you look really rested" and things like that.
6) I am sleeping better and my dreams are taking a more positive turn.
7) I am really realizing just HOW much money I spent on alcohol and am saving the money for something special. Even though I make decent money, I am shocked that I afforded to drink as much as I did.
8) I am thinking more about the future instead of feeling mired in the present or stuck in the past--I have always been way too nostalgic about my younger years, but when I read old journals I was not nearly as happy with myself.

So those are some specifics. But I have learned from my past that I can NEVER let my guard down or EVER think I can drink in moderation. I cannot. I have turned down a lot of social invitations because of fear of wanting to drink, but it has been for the best, but I know that I cannot do that forever. But the bubble has been nice and long enough to give me strength.

I also am praying more, which I don't do very much of when I drink because I feel so guilty because what I am doing I know is hurtful to myself and others.

I'm definitely not on a pink cloud though, which makes me happy, I feel very solid this time in my sobriety. I am certain that this time will stick, but I will never become complacent....that has ALWAYS gotten me in the past.

It is a great feeling to be sober and not feel bad in the mornings or have the regrets of nights before........it's a good space to be in!!