Missing my Ex
Hi, I just joined and I would like to say. I love LOVE love these forums. Before I split up with my alcoholic ex-boyfriend, I used to read through these forums for support. It was the only thing that helped at the time.
I was with my ex until the past x-mas. He attacked me while I held our 3 month old daughter in my arms.
To make a long story short.I wanted to leave for months. When I was pregnant he tried to quit drinking. We found out that he has end stage liver cirrhosis. He just turned 26 last September. He has been in a coma. He bled out and had to have the TIPS procedure to save him. He's literally been given months to live. Yet he never wanted to seek help, to go to rehab. To heal. He blamed me, his family blamed me. He has been drinking for 11 years and Ive only known him for 2.
I dont know why I miss him sometimes. I feel like I gave up on him. I was tired of it though. The lying, the cheating, the abuse....I just couldnt.
I have not seen him 3 months and although I have cried and been so depressed, I feel so much better mentally than I ever did while we were together. He left me in financial and emotional ruin.
I always wanted to believe that he loved me, he emails me sometimes, that he misses me, that he wants to be part of his daughters life. That he has changed, that he wants to show me. I cant deny that I am tempted to go back...these forums have been a tremendous help. thank you all for your stories. <3