Thanks guys!
still sober.
I had to get that out and shut it up. There's too much other crap going on in my life, legal things, emotional family things, that I do not want to and cannot afford to deal with by or while drinking. But those thoughts coming into my head when I am already running on 200% bad feelings and thoughts is overwhelming. I had to give it's stage so I could move past it. It worked.
Peace and serenity were hard won in early sobriety for me, so I'm going to do whatever I can right now to shift back into that. I'm staying my path tho, regardless of how I think or feel
Thanks for the listens guys.