Man, your situation just sounds so unfair and imbalanced with you carrying most of the weight. You know, we can carry a lot of weight for and long before it starts to break our backs and then we can reach a breaking point. You've got to take care of yourself and you have needs that have gone unmet and neglected for-how long now? I understand how you feel worried about her and it sounds like there is major GUILT waiting at your door to be let in if you leave her. We can't tell you to get out of your marriage; only you can make that decision. But you can come here and vent or whatever it is you need to do. Guilt is a heavy burden to bear, m'friend.