Since I posted this last summer, things have obviously progressed. These last couple of weeks have been particularly, um,
This is really just a long rant in a place where people might understand & maybe even 1 person benefits from hearing it.
Now that he's no longer able to drive himself to/from the liquor store, we were tasked with finding a service that would not only run errands such as groceries, healthcare appts, but will stop & buy his liquor on a regular basis.
If he has one more ER visit, they are likely to Baker Act him - which really means that now if he has an incident in the middle of the night, he'll probably opt to wait it out vs. calling an ambulance. He's probably had 4-5 ER runs since I originally posted this, all different but the same in terms of being caused by his drinking.
We (our firm works in conjunction with his hired Guardian - his family refuses involvement) have been unable, obviously, to find any kind of assisted living facility that is equipped for this situation. (They all SAY no problem, every resident is allowed to have alcohol.... until I explain how we are not talking about 1-2 glasses of wine after dinner here.... then they really have no answer at all because they realize they don't have a procedure for this situation.)
Here's the kicker guys - I'M the one that has been having to advocate for him in all of this. BossLady, Guardian, etc., are largely uneducated on the REALITY of addiction. Their immediate reactions were things like simply cutting off his liquor supply (um, I highly advise you NOT to do that without Dr supervision folks, he will likely go into shock/seizures/cardiac events. He has been drinking like this for more years than any of us know.)
*I'm* the one defending his right to drink himself to death. I'm the one reminding ALL of them that it is not OUR places to judge what his wishes are...... he has literally told each of us, face to face, that he CHOOSES this. He has told me that despite the fear, the paranoia, the pain, the knowing that he is doing/has done this to himself - he still does not wish to stop drinking. He still wants to drink himself to death: "I just didn't realize it was going to feel like this, that's all." I remind everyone that hey, THEY knew this the whole time too. He has never stated or indicated anything otherwise. When someone shows you/tells you who they are............. right? Personally, he's been telling me this for over a decade now. His story has never wavered one bit. It is the one constant in all of this, ironically. (or not, depending on your POV)
It gets VERY blurry. I/we are trying hard to keep providing service just as we do for all clients (we customize/go outside the box for everyone in all different ways) & use that as a way to measure whether we're enabling or servicing. It's hard because we sort of live outside of the box in terms of our relationships with our clients. Other than things like refusing to do his liquor runs personally, making ourselves available outside of normal biz hours/etc, we're trying to help but not enable.
It's been like walking a tightrope lately. Above all it simply sucks
sucks
sucks to watch someone go through this.
