Originally Posted by
Aellyce 
It was also very similar in a sense that I did not really enjoy the drinking beyond maybe the first hour of it each time, being drunk made me very delusional and crazy with very extreme thoughts and emotions all over the map.
This is also what I found to be the case each time I relapsed. The buildup was much more exciting than the actual act of drinking, the
decision to drink even more intense than the surrender to the cravings. Once the alcohol was in my system again, it was like finally getting back in touch with someone the memory of whom you've romanticized, but upon being in her/his presence again, it's just a big letdown. But then you find yourself once again linked up with that person.
I also experienced those crazy, extreme thoughts and emotions you mentioned. Well, I still do, especially when I listen to certain kinds of music, but it's much easier to step off the crazy train when you're sober!
You can control the stops and starts that way, instead of letting the addiction control them.