I am sorry to hear this news, sort of. For me, my last relapse gave me a new willingness to go to any lengths, and the sobriety I got after that was better than anything I ever experienced before, and it has stayesd that way.
No need for shame if you are an alcholic of my type. With my history, to "choose" to drink was an act of pure insanity. There can be no other explanation. usually there wasn't even any conscious thought involved. Sometimes I had sworn off in the morning and find myself on drink 3 before or even remembered. By then it was too late.
Why did the insanity keep coming back? Well that had something to do with choice. Me choosing not to do what I needed to do to get and stay sober.
AA didn't get me sober and doesn't keep me sober. But it showed me how to find and maintain the power I need to stay sober.
That power keeps me sober 24/7, no matter what life throws at me.
I hope you find the power.