Originally Posted by
healthyagain 
How about this . . . forget about forgiveness. Let's talk about acceptance. You accept that he is who he is and that there is nothing you can do about it.You accept that what happened happened. For me, forgiveness means to let go of my own negative emotions. I will not revenge, I will not hope that he gets hit by a train. It does not mean I am going to forget. I've learned a bitter lesson, but there is no need to let the thoughts of him poison my life any longer.
^^Wise words. I have come to define forgiveness as nothing more than acceptance of what is & a lack of active resentments/anger over what was.
But that doesn't change what happened or stop me from being angry when those memories arise. It doesn't wipe away all the old feelings & magically make everything easier & smoother - time does that. Watching the next part of the story play out from a distance, does that.
Forgiveness is letting go of the other guy's throat - it's about letting go, for YOU. You'll get there, in your time, when you're ready if you stick to your own side of the street/program. I don't think you can "make" yourself get there any faster than naturally working through the process.
