Originally Posted by
Tangled34 
How do you do that? I was told that in order to move on I have to forgive AH... Not forgive his actions but forgive the person he was... I just cannot do that and I need to be happy but for myself and dd.... But he has this smug face on him all of the time and he looks at me like he pity's me... It's so hard to forgive?
Forcing forgiveness doesn't work, it has to come naturally on its own when you are ready for it. You are in no way obligated to forgive people for hurting you.
The root purpose of forgiveness is to let go of negative emotions that contend with your ability to heal and be at peace.
Being at peace is the goal, and forgiveness is but a single path that can help you arrive at that goal, but it is not the only path.