Kiki, Yes, you WILL get over this hump! I know exactly what you mean about your brain going on autopilot, I am the exact same way. It's like your mindset suddenly changes and all of a sudden your telling yourself it's not big deal, just have a drink. You mentioned not eating, I know for me, I would say about 95% of my slips have been when I am hungry. There is something about the brain chemistry of hunger that equates to drinking - for me anyway.
Also, I know posting on SR has saved me many times. It's hard to reach out, but it really can make a difference.
For me, I know it all comes down to that "BOOM" moment you described. Make a plan for that moment when your mind is giving you every reason and excuse in the world to drink: reach out (SR or to someone in real life), read on SR, read something recovery related, write in a journal, take a walk, EAT!, or....and this may sound weird but if I have had some sober time and my face and eyes look really clear and healthy, I will look at myself and ask myself, do I really want to lose this???
We are here for you. Don't beat yourself. Today is a new day .....