I totally relate to your post!
First, as others said, given your history (seizures) you probably really need a medical detox.
Second, my experience is sometimes you can't get one, other times the cost is HUGE.
At a MINIMUM you need to have someone who is in your house with you in case an ambulance needs to be called!
For me, my son and cell phone where my back up when I have tried to detox at home.
If you can locate an advocate (and it might surprise you who will step and do this) it is helpful. Someone who can just go to the hospital with you and INSIST on a medical detox and proper care, that would be helpful. I've used my son, a fellow worker.... there are people you may not realize will help you get through the detox.
The cost is very hard to deal with, but in the end I always knew I wanted to live more than I wanted to worry about the money (not that I don't worry about it ... just want to live more).
It doesn't matter how many times you have tried and ended up in the same position. What matters is that you step back up and do the deal again
After a severe close call in the hospital Christmas day, and another fail after treatment, I am 2 weeks sober and dealing with life better than I have. You can do this! Medical help, I believe, is really important. But come out of that with some hope that you can do this this time!
Nands