"I never thought you were a lush"
Those are the words my husband said to me today. We were on our way to a lunch date at a swanky restaurant. We had a gift card which some friends gave us for our wedding and he wondered why they gave us such a big amount. I told him probably because they bought it while I was still drinking and figured the big lush would want to order a bottle of wine.
Then he said those words and even added: "I never thought you were anything other than a normal drinker. There were only a few times you got out of hand."
I practically had to pick my jaw up off the floor. Even at almost 19 months sober the cunning AV perked up. "See. We had them all fooled. Even him and he knows you better than anyone. All that sneaking around, lying and hiding paid off. We did it. We didn't even have to stop."
But because I'm almost 19 months sober I shut that monster down as soon as she slithered up to me. I thought about how sad it made me that I lied so much and so often to the man I love - my partner and best friend. Then I thought about how much I lied to myself. I was so, so sick.
I shrugged and then he added: "I'm so proud of you though. You made a decision you felt best for you, you stuck with it and you've never seemed happier."
He's right. I don't think I've ever been more happy and content in my adult life. Sobriety just keeps on giving. And today, I couldn't be more grateful for it.