Originally Posted by wanttobehealthy

My State presumes and grants 50/50 custody UNLESS you can prove (over a lot of hearings, and years at expense/stress and angst for kids and NON alcoholic parent) that that is detrimental to the kids.

It is an INSANE system.

I have primary custody, their dad has 1 day a week but rarely exercises it and there is a 3 page adendum which I wrote myself and miraculously got xAH to sign and agree to two years ago (bc he was arrogant enough to think he could agree to it, violate it and it would not hold up?) that deals with how, when, where he needs to demonstrate sobriety before, during and at the end of ANY time he spends with our kids.

A judge NEVER would have put such a detailed, iron clad adendum in place and my .02 cents is that you will get much further trying to negotiate and settle yourself with your ex than you will in a hearing.

That was hard for me to come to terms with.

But I knew that if I went years and years fighting in the court system, my kids being interviewed, a guardian ad lidem involved, it would just prolong the xAH's control over everyone.

PM me if you'd like and I can give you more specifics...