Hi again everyone.
Checking back in, things have not been so good. My roommate and I are being outed from our place (not drinking related...Landlord can make more money renting to a single tenant vs us. ~700/month more. Hooray So. Cal and "outside money") at the end of the month. Work problems that have me contemplating living out of my truck (reduced hours, not due to job performance), ex-issues, and other stuff. Not sure if I can afford to even live where I am anymore...like have to move to a new city sort of thing.
It rolls from one day into the next. I know drinking doesn't solve any of my problems. I get free booze at work, BS/banter with my coworkers, but feel like a crap person for making crude jokes, or letting them see who I am. (I have a big wall up.)
Drinking is keeping me from life. I can't be the ideal candidate for my job if I stop drinking. I feel very lonely. Thought about going to a meeting tonight. It's at 5:30.